Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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