ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize