We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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