This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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