I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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