She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
