Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Randomize
