You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
