Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
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