Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
