my being single is dangerous.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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