You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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