That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
The uberlube is also flammable
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
wow bdsm is so cute
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize