Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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