Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
My breath smells like gin and sadness
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
