hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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