Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
