Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i was born a porn star she said
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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