Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Found your dick twin last night
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
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Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
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I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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