My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
