i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
