i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
