I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
