what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
