I CAN MOONWALK!
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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