I molested 6 butterflies tonight
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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