we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
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well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
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