that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
