I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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