so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
