there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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