I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
