I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
