No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
