she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
