any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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