those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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