Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I'm having to shit out rocks
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
