why didn't you poke me back
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
When did angry sex become our thing?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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