my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
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He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
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if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
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