i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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