I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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