No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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