Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
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