Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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