I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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