i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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