Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
