A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
