i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
