And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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