he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
So many bounce houses so little time
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
