i barfeds in our rink
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
