Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
You ever have a fart follow you around?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
