So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Randomize
