Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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