it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
