just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
high people should be assigned attendants
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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