nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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