Ambien. No doubt about it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
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