Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
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