Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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